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-<p><font color="#339966">まだ決まっていません!</font> </p>
+<div style="background: white; margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt" align="left">
+<strong><span style="font-size: 12pt">Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life
+with the Heart of a Buddha</span></strong> <strong><span style=
+"font-size: 12pt">                                                       </span></strong>
+<strong><em><span style="font-size: 12pt">by</span></em></strong> <a href=
+"http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?ATH=Tara+Brach&amp;z=y">
+<strong><em><span style=
+"font-size: 12pt; color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none">
+Tara Brach</span></em></strong></a><span id=
+"fck_dom_range_start_1194702641218_579"> </span></div>
+<div style="background: white; margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt" align="left">
+<p> </p>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt"><span style=
+"font-size: 12pt; color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none">
+ </span></div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>①<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>You will be walking some night . . .<br>
+It will be clear to you suddenly<br>
+that you were about to escape,<br>
+and that you are guilty: you misread<br>
+the complex instructions, you are not<br>
+a member, you lost your card<br>
+or never had one . . .<br>
+<br>
+Wendell Berry<span style="color: red">』</span></div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>②<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>For years I've had a recurring dream in which I am caught
+in a futile struggle to get somewhere. Sometimes I'm running up a hill;
+sometimes I am climbing over boulders or swimming against a current. Often a
+loved one is in trouble or something bad is about to happen. My mind is
+speeding frantically, but my body feels heavy and exhausted; I move as if
+through molasses. I know I should be able to handle the problem, but no matter
+how hard I try, I can't get where I need to go. Completely alone and shadowed
+by the fear of failure, I am trapped in my dilemma. Nothing else in the world
+exists but that.<span style="color: red">』</span></div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>③<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>This dream captures the essence of the trance of
+unworthiness. In our dreams we often seem to be the protagonist in a
+pre-scripted drama, fated to react to our circumstances in a given way. We seem
+unaware that choices and options might exist. When we are in the trance and
+caught up in our stories and fears about how we might fail, we are in much the
+same state. We are living in a waking dream that completely defines and
+delimits our experience of life. The rest of the world is merely a backdrop as
+we struggle to get somewhere, to be a better person, to accomplish, to avoid
+making mistakes. As in a dream, we take our stories to be the truth--a
+compelling reality--and they consume most of our attention. While we eat lunch
+or drive home from work, while wetalk to our partners or read to our children
+at night, we continue to replay our worries and plans. Inherent in the trance
+is the belief that no matter how hard we try, we are always, in some way,
+falling short.<span style="color: red">』</span></div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>④<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>Feeling unworthy goes hand in hand with feeling separate
+from others, separate from life. If we are defective, how can we possibly
+belong? It's a vicious cycle: The more deficient we feel, the more separate and
+vulnerable we feel. Underneath our fear of being flawed is a more primal fear
+that something is wrong with life, that something bad is going to happen. Our
+reaction to this fear is to feel blame, even hatred, toward whatever we
+consider the source of the problem: ourselves, others, life itself. But even
+when we have directed our aversion outward, deep down we still feel
+vulnerable.<span style="color: red">』</span><br>
+<br>
+Our feelings of unworthiness and alienation from others give rise to various
+forms of suffering. For some, the most glaring expression is addiction. It may
+be to alcohol, food or drugs. Others feel addicted to a relationship, dependent
+on a particular person or people in order to feel they are complete and that
+life is worth living. Some try to feel important through long hours of grueling
+work--an addiction that our culture often applauds. Some create outer enemies
+and are always at war with the world.<br>
+<br>
+The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that
+we are truly loved. Many of us live with an undercurrent of depression or
+hopelessness about ever feeling close to other people. We fear that if they
+realize we are boring or stupid, selfish or insecure, they'll reject us. If
+we're not attractive enough, we may never be loved in an intimate, romantic
+way. We yearn for an unquestioned experience of belonging, to feel at home with
+ourselves and others, at ease and fully accepted. But the trance of
+unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach.</div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>⑤<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>The trance of unworthiness intensifies when our lives feel
+painful and out of control. We may assume that our physical sickness or
+emotional depression is our own fault--the result of our bad genes or our lack
+of discipline and willpower. We may feel that the loss of a job or a painful
+divorce is a reflection of our personal flaws. If we had only done better, if
+we were somehow different, things would have gone right. While we might place
+the blame on someone else, we still tacitly blame ourselves for getting into
+the situation in the first place.<span style="color: red">』</span><br>
+<br>
+Even if we ourselves are not suffering or in pain, if someone close to us--a
+partner or a child--is, we can take this as further proof of our inadequacy.
+One of my psychotherapy clients has a thirteen-year-old son who was diagnosed
+with attention deficit disorder. She has tried everything she can to
+help--doctors, diet, acupuncture, drugs, love. Yet still he suffers from
+academic setbacks and feels socially isolated. He is convinced that he is a
+"loser" and, out of pain and frustration, frequently lashes out in rage.
+Regardless of her loving efforts, she lives in anguish, feeling that she is
+failing her son and should be doing more.</div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 18pt; text-indent: -18pt"><span>⑥<span style=
+"font: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">    </span></span>  </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"><span style=
+"color: red">『</span>The trance of unworthiness doesn't always show up as overt
+feelings of shame and deficiency. When I told a good friend that I was writing
+about unworthiness and how pervasive it is, she took issue. "My main challenge
+isn't shame, it's pride," she insisted. This woman, a successful writer and
+teacher, told me how easily she gets caught up in feeling superior to others.
+She finds many people mentally slow and boring. Because so many people admire
+her, she often rides surges of feeling special and important. "I'm embarrassed
+to admit it," she said, "and maybe this is where shame fits in. But I like
+having people look up to me . . . that's when I feel good about myself." My
+friend is playing out the flip side of the trance. She went on to acknowledge
+that during dry periods, times when she isn't feeling productive or useful or
+admired, she does slip into feeling unworthy. Rather than simply recognizing
+her talents and enjoying her strengths, she needs the reassurance of feeling
+special or superior.<span style="color: red">』</span><br>
+<br>
+Convinced that we are not good enough, we can never relax. We stay on guard,
+monitoring ourselves for shortcomings. When we inevitably find them, we feel
+even more insecure and undeserving. We have to try even harder. The irony of
+all of this is . . . where do we think we are going anyway? One meditation
+student told me that he felt as if he were steamrolling through his days,
+driven by the feeling that he needed to do more. In a wistful tone he added,
+"I'm skimming over life and racing to the finish line--death."<br>
+<br>
+When I talk about the suffering of unworthiness in my meditation classes, I
+frequently notice students nodding their heads, some of them in tears. They may
+be realizing for the first time that the shame they feel is not their own
+personal burden, that it is felt by many. Afterward some of them stay to talk.
+They confide that feeling undeserving has made it impossible for them to ask
+for help or to let themselves feel held by another's love. Some recognize that
+their sense of unworthiness and insecurity has kept them from realizing their
+dreams. Often students tell me that their habit of feeling chronically
+deficient has made them continually doubt that they are meditating correctly
+and mistrust that they are growing spiritually.<br>
+<br>
+A number of them have told me that, in their early days on the spiritual path,
+they assumed their feelings of inadequacy would be transcended through a
+dedicated practice of meditation. Yet even though meditation has helped them in
+important ways, they find that deep pockets of shame and insecurity have a
+stubborn way of persisting--sometimes despite decades of practice. Perhaps they
+have pursued a style of meditation that wasn't well suited for their emotional
+temperament, or perhaps they needed the additional support of psychotherapy to
+uncover and heal deep wounds. Whatever the reasons, the failure to relieve this
+suffering through spiritual practice can bring up a basic doubt about whether
+we can ever be truly happy and free.<br>
+<br>
+Bringing an Unworthy Self into Spiritual Life<br>
+<br>
+In their comments, I hear echoes of my own story. After graduating from
+college, I moved into an ashram, a spiritual community, and enthusiastically
+devoted myself to the lifestyle for almost twelve years. I felt I had found a
+path through which I could purify myself and transcend the imperfections of my
+ego--the self and its strategies. We were required to awaken every day at 3:30
+a.m., take a cold shower, and then from four until six-thirty do a sadhana
+(spiritual discipline) of yoga, meditation, chanting and prayer. By breakfast
+time I often felt as if I were floating in a glowing, loving, blissful state. I
+was at one with the loving awareness I call the Beloved and experienced this to
+be my own deepest essence. I didn't feel bad or good about myself, I just felt
+good.<br>
+<br>
+By the end of breakfast, or a bit later in the morning, my habitual thoughts
+and behaviors would start creeping in again. Just as they had in college, those
+ever-recurring feelings of insecurity and selfishness would let me know I was
+falling short. Unless I found the time for more yoga and meditation, I would
+often find myself feeling once again like my familiar small-minded, not-okay
+self. Then I'd go to bed, wake up and start over again.<br>
+<br>
+While I touched genuine peace and openheartedness, my inner critic continued to
+assess my level of purity. I mistrusted myself for the ways I would pretend to
+be positive when underneath I felt lonely or afraid. While I loved the yoga and
+meditation practices, I was embarrassed by my need to impress others with the
+strength of my practice. I wanted others to see me as a deep meditator and
+devoted yogi, a person who served her world with care and generosity.
+Meanwhile, I judged other people for being slack in their discipline, and
+judged myself for being so judgmental. Even in the midst of community, I often
+felt lonely and alone.<br>
+<br>
+I had the idea that if I really applied myself, it would take eight to ten
+years to release all my self-absorption and be wise and free. Periodically I
+would consult teachers I admired from various other spiritual traditions: "So,
+how am I doing? What else can I do?" Invariably, they would respond, "Just
+relax." I wasn't exactly sure what they meant, but I certainly didn't think it
+could be "just relax." How could they mean that? I wasn't "there" yet.<br>
+<br>
+Chögyam Trungpa, a contemporary Tibetan Buddhist teacher, writes, "The problem
+is that ego can convert anything to its own use, even spirituality." What I
+brought to my spiritual path included all my needs to be admired, all my
+insecurities about not being good enough, all my tendencies to judge my inner
+and outer world. The playing field was larger than my earlier pursuits, but the
+game was still the same: striving to be a different and better person.<br>
+<br>
+In retrospect, it is no surprise that my self-doubts were transferred intact
+into my spiritual life. Those who feel plagued by not being good enough are
+often drawn to idealistic worldviews that offer the possibility of purifying
+and transcending a flawed nature. This quest for perfection is based in the
+assumption that we must change ourselves to belong. We may listen longingly to
+the message that wholeness and goodness have always been our essence, yet still
+feel like outsiders, uninvited guests at the feast of life.<br>
+<br>
+A Culture That Breeds Separation and Shame</div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt; text-indent: -10.5pt"> </div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt">Several years ago a small group of
+Buddhist teachers and psychologists from the United States and Europe invited
+the Dalai Lama to join them in a dialogue about emotions and health. During one
+of their sessions, an American vipassana teacher asked him to talk about the
+suffering of self-hatred. A look of confusion came over the Dalai Lama's face.
+"What is self-hatred?" he asked. As the therapists and teachers in the room
+tried to explain, he looked increasingly bewildered. Was this mental state a
+nervous disorder? he asked them. When those gathered confirmed that self-hatred
+was not unusual but rather a common experience for their students and clients,
+the Dalai Lama was astonished. How could they feel that way about themselves,
+he wondered, when "everybody has Buddha nature."</div>
+<div style="margin: 0mm 0mm 0pt 10.5pt">While all humans feel ashamed of
+weakness and afraid of rejection, our Western culture is a breeding ground for
+the kind of shame and self-hatred the Dalai Lama couldn't comprehend. Because
+so many of us grew up without a cohesive and nourishing sense of family,
+neighborhood, community or "tribe," it is not surprising that we feel like
+outsiders, on our own and disconnected. We learn early in life that any
+affiliation--with family and friends, at school or in the workplace--requires
+proving that we are worthy. We are under pressure to compete with each other,
+to get ahead, to stand out as intelligent, attractive, capable, powerful,
+wealthy. Someone is always keeping score.<br>
+<br>
+After a lifetime of working with the poor and the sick, Mother Teresa's
+surprising insight was: "The biggest disease today is not leprosy or
+tuberculosis but rather the feeling of not belonging." In our own society, this
+disease has reached epidemic proportions. We long to belong and feel as if we
+don't deserve to.<br>
+<br>
+Buddhism offers a basic challenge to this cultural worldview. The Buddha taught
+that this human birth is a precious gift because it gives us the opportunity to
+realize the love and awareness that are our true nature. As the Dalai Lama
+pointed out so poignantly, we all have Buddha nature. Spiritual awakening is
+the process of recognizing our essential goodness, our natural wisdom and
+compassion.</div>
+<p><span style="font-size: 10.5pt">In stark contrast to this trust in our
+inherent worth, our culture's guiding myth is the story of Adam and Eve's exile
+from the Garden of Eden. We may forget its power because it seems so worn and
+familiar, but this story shapes and reflects the deep psyche of the West. The
+message of "original sin" is unequivocal: Because of our basically flawed
+nature, we do not deserve to be happy, loved by others, at ease with life. We
+are outcasts, and if we are to reenter the garden, we must redeem our sinful
+selves. We must overcome our flaws by controlling our bodies, controlling our
+emotions, controlling our natural surroundings, controlling other people. And
+we must strive tirelessly--working, acquiring, consuming, achieving, e-mailing,
+overcommitting and rushing--in a never-ending quest to prove ourselves once and
+for all.<br>
+<br>
+Growing up Unworthy<br>
+<br>
+In their book Stories of the Spirit, Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman tell
+this story: A family went out to a restaurant for dinner. When the waitress
+arrived, the parents gave their orders. Immediately, their five-year-old
+daughter piped up with her own: "I'll have a hot dog, french fries and a Coke."
+"Oh no you won't," interjected the dad, and turning to the waitress he said,
+"She'll have meat loaf, mashed potatoes, milk." Looking at the child with a
+smile, the waitress said, "So, hon, what do you want on that hot dog?" When she
+left, the family sat stunned and silent. A few moments later the little girl,
+eyes shining, said, "She thinks I'm real."<br>
+<br></span></p>
+</div>